Warning: What Could Happen If You Don't Prioritize Sustainability
Emily Bronaugh 
My personal story of how the pressures of being a solopreneur led me to self-sabotage, burn out, and a 5-month sabbatical from my business.
My all-or-nothing mentality led to full-fledged self-sabotage.
I had no choice but to walk away from my business, not only for my finances but for my mental and physical health as well.
As a solopreneur, my entire mindset and body were riddled with the anxiety and fear:
- Was I was serving people well enough?
- Was I living in integrity enough?
- Personally, needing freedom NOW.
- Needing more money NOW.
- Wanting to travel NOW.
- Wanting to prove to my friends and family that I wasn't crazy for starting this business.
This belief that I created that I was wasting my life by not living my "dream life" immediately put so much pressure on me that I was shutting down. Literally.
My anxiety caused me to spend so much money on useless stuff for my business that was never going to actually help me gain any traction. I literally didn't know how we were going to pay our mortgage for the next month. My husband and I got so worried about the financial stress that I had to go on Xanax for a number of weeks because I wasn't eating or sleeping at all.
I knew that ultimately, I was pursuing my business to give myself MORE time freedom. More money to do the fun things that we wanted as a family. More time to travel and be together. More impact so that I could rest knowing that my life was meaningful and helping, rather than mooching off the world.
But in my obsessive pursuit for that freedom, I was locking myself up in chains, worse than had I just kept my 9-5. Because it was ALL on me, the pressure and anxiety I felt were so extreme, that on top of working all day, I wasn't sleeping well at night at all.
Finally, in Oct. 2021, I bravely acknowledged that I had to stop. I had to take a break from my business and re-group so that I could start again from a grounded, more intentional, less needy space. It took me about 5 months to refocus and learn how to release control and prioritize how I felt over what my numbers looked like.
I remember the desperation of needing to feel normal and focused in my life. I could see that my son was missing time with me. I knew that the majority of my interactions with him involved me saying:
- "Not right now. I'm working."
- "Honey I have to work."
- "Finn, I need you to watch tv so I can get this work done."
- "I can't, I'm too tired."
- "Let's play later, I need to rest."
- "I can't think right now, let's just get Chick Fil A for dinner again."
So while admitting that I needed a break was the most difficult thing I've ever done professionally, I knew my son deserved it. I quickly got a job to make up for the financial stress, and I was lucky enough to get a remote position where I could still easily be available for my son when he needed me.
But as you can imagine, I was depressed. I felt that I had failed. And because I still loved my business idea and the mission to create an impact in the world, I felt like a part of me was missing. And I beat myself up for being back at square 1... where I was 2 years before when I had first had this business idea.
After 5 months, I finally felt ready to make my first social media post since my breakdown. There was a lot of starting over that needed to happen. My passion never waned, but I would be lying if I didn't spend many days crying over how much I felt I had to redo. And while I know that I made the right decision, I don't wish this experience on any other solopreneur.
My WARNING is this:
If you don't start to learn how to be consistent in a sustainable way (starting just tiny baby small steps), you're going to burn out. Maybe not as hard as I did. Please do not risk the impact you're having in the world, your financial freedom, your time freedom for your family, and everything else you're busting your balls for by allowing pressure and fear of failing to convince you that you need to do more, more, more, more... specifically all on your own.
We NEED breaks. We may even need full-on sabbaticals. My point is that I want you to choose to take those breaks from a place of freedom, intentionality, forwarding thinking, and joy. Not from a financial or physical need.
Please do these three things now, and on a regular basis going forward, as a self-audit to know if there's more you could be doing to approach your business in a more sustainable way:
1. What's one thing you can take off of your to-do list?
Is it posting on a social platform you don't enjoy using? or Creating a new graphic when you can just reuse an old one? Is it not buying that course or group program so that you have space to implement and sit with the ones you've already purchased? Or waiting to update your website?
2. What's one way you can give yourself some help with what you can't take off of your plate?
Can you hire a cleaning person for once a month? Can you hire someone at $15 an hour to schedule your social posts? Can you upgrade your project management software to automate some workflows for you? Can you have your children carpool to their extracurricular activities so you can get some extra work done while they're busy anyway?
3. What can you do to take the pressure of success off?
Getting a part-time job helped me immensely with the pressure of finances so that I could truly focus on the needle movers in the business and help keep me focused on my long-term goals, rather than my immediate financial needs.
Remember, small, consistent baby steps lead to longer-lasting success than all or nothing... every time. Remember the tortoise and the hare story? Well it's not just a nice idea, going slow and steady is actually a scientifically proven method of sustainable behavior change that lasts far longer and more successfully than tryin an all-or-nothing approach.
Stanford Social Scientist BJ Fogg is famous for his research on how taking baby steps leads to sustainability. Something that will help our all-or-nothing thinking is integrating the idea that baby steps are what lead to LASTING and SUSTAINED behavior change. We aren't being lazy. We aren't imperfect. We are actually doing the right thing by starting small and giving our neuropathways time and space to rewire themselves.
These moments of self-sabotage and imperfect business experiences aren't being shared enough, but we need to connect at this level in order to heal the perfectionism and pressure we all feel.
If this resonates with you, please don't hesitate to share your personal experience or ah-ha moments with me @emma.bronaugh on Instagram (I love a good voice memo!). Or you can email me at emily@worthofwork.com.
Categories: : personal stories, sustainable business, work-life balance